۱ Essay, 2 Results: How to Transform a Good IELTS Essay into a Great IELTS Essay
To get a high score on your IELTS essay, you need to know what a great essay consists of. To help you understand this, we have given you a chance to read two versions of the same essay – one good and the other great. Both versions have been written by an experienced IELTS trainer.
Just read the two versions of the same sample essay below. You may wish to print them out to compare them more easily. Then, try to learn some expressions and sentence structures from the high-scoring essay. Use them, if possible, on exam day, and you will certainly get higher marks on your IELTS essay. Be sure to check out our other free sample IELTS essays, too.
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Essay 1 – High Score – Band 8-9
In today’s modern world, computers are an essential part of everyday life. Around the globe, children often use computers from a very young age. Although it is important for children to participate in various well-balanced activities, in my opinion, children who use the computer daily are actually developing a critical skill for future success. The bases for my views are personal, academic, and professional.
From a personal point of view, computers are an invaluable resource to help young people explore the world around them. For example, children who use Internet to satisfy their curiosity about diverse topics are already becoming independent learners. No child with a computer is ever bored! By starting early in their lives, children feel totally at ease around computers; they are also able to take advantage of the wide range of services computers provide.
From an academic viewpoint, children have no choice but to master this technological invention. For instance, when I was in university, students brought their laptops to class to take notes, do research and exchange information. They wrote assignments, created presentations and developed databases. Children who build early confidence and experience in these abilities are at a distinct advantage over those who have not.
From a professional perspective, the computer has found a permanent place in the workplace. Today, employers still pay to provide computer training to their employees. Tomorrow, corporations will expect prospective job applicants to already possess these critical job skills. Consequently, parents who encourage their child to use the computer for a reasonable period of time daily are in fact investing in the child’s future career.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that the computer as a technological tool is here to stay. The sooner children become computer-literate, the better for many aspects of their future lives.
Essay 1 – Medium Score – Band 5-6
In today’s modern world, computers are needed everyday. Around the world, children use computers from the time they are little. It’s true that children should have fun when they are young; however, in my opinion, a child who knows how to use the computer will be more successful in the future. My reasons for this view are personal, academic and professional.
From a personal point of view, computers can help young people to learn more about the world. For example, some children use the Internet to find information on different subjects. In this way, they learn to find answers by themselves. By using the computer when they are little, children feel more comfortable around computers. They also know how to use the computer for different reasons.
From an academic viewpoint, children have to learn how to use this new invention. For instance, when I was in college, many students used to bring their laptops to class. They used to take notes, do research and share information. They wrote their essays, made presentations and created useful lists. Children who can use the computer when they are young have more confidence than other children.
From a professional perspective, the computer is found in every kind of office. Today, employers will still hire people who cannot use computers and give them computer training. But tomorrow, companies will expect people to have these skills already. As a result, by encouraging children to use the computer for a short time every day, parents are preparing their children for future jobs.
In conclusion, it is clear that computers are now a part of our regular life. Children who can use computers easily and confidently will do better in the future.
محمد حسین ابراهیم زاده